Saturday, September 18, 2010

Signs from Nate

For the last couple of weeks, I have really been missing Nate. Today, he decided to help me out a little by giving me three separate signs...
One of the ways I have dealt with the grief of his death is by running. Back in June, I tore the meniscus in my right knee so, after a cortisone shot, I have gone to a combination of biking and running. This morning during my bike phase, I was riding up a hill in the older neighborhood north of Twin Creeks III. Both Jen & I view hills the same way, we ride and run them with a vengance "for Nate" because, while they are the toughest parts of a ride or a run, they pale in comparison to his battle against SMA and what he went through every day of his life.
I was thinking about him as I went up this hill and about 3/4 of the way up, a butterfly suddenly landed on my left hand and, just as quickly, it flew off. It was almost like a quick kiss, it was so brief. I knew it was him and it was something that I really needed.
After biking, I went for my run and decided to run up the same hill. While it would have made a great story for me to see another butterfly on that same hill, it did not happen. As I was heading back home, I decided to run down the street behind us then come up our street to end my run. Normally, I just make a left turn and run to our house but Nate had another sign to give me. As I was coming up our street, which is a hill, three small butterflies (flying in a straight line together) literally bounced off my left leg then flew off in front of me. I couldn't help but smile...
Now here's the topper...After my cool-down, I started walking up our driveway when I glanced to my left. There in the middle of our driveway, was another butterfly just sitting on the ground. I stopped and decided to walk towards it. As I got close, it flew off about three feet then landed. I walked closer and it did the same thing again. Every time I got close to it, it moved away but did not fly off...it moved just out of reach. The symbolism of this is not lost on me...while I would give anything to kiss, touch or hold Nate, even for the briefest time, I know that he is always around me but will always be just out of reach...
Thanks for the signs, Nate, Dad really needed them today! I love you and miss you SO MUCH!!!
Trey